Friday, April 15, 2005
What's this, an update? It's not too inspiring, so don't worry.
So yeah, I've finally decided to vent somewhere. I'm glad not too many people read this, because this is going ot be pretty depressing.
I have no idea what I'm doing here. I've wasted five years, only to likely drop out without a degree. For some reason, I just can't make myself sit and work for more than a half hour at a time, if that much. It's really frustrating because I know I have to do the work, and I know my future is depending on how I do here, but I just can't do it. It's really weird. I want to do well. I want to make those I know proud to know me. I want to make my parents proud of me. I sit down, and bam. I'll stare at the wall instead of working (Yes, I know this is a diversion, but it's a somewhat productive one).
I've discovered that I need to get nearly 100% on my upcoming ecology final to get into honours next year. That's if I can convince my lab instructors to let me hand in my two late labs without penalty, and that's going to depend on whether or not someone at counselling services decides that I'm a nut or not. Here goes nothing.
On one hand, I don't want to be crazy. On the other hand, I want to pass these courses and get on with my life. because of that, I've decided to take the following actions.
1) I'm done with Queen's Bands. I hate myself for doing this, but there's no way I can do it again next year and not suffer. Plus, it's time to move aside and let someone else have their fun. I've been there long enough, and while I'll miss it like you wouldn't believe (and I hope it misses me), I think it's time.
2) I'm putting myself through from here on in. My parents have provided for me so far, and I'm making as much cash as I can this summer to pay my way from here on in. If this means taking a year off so I can make more money, so be it. I'm tired of being a drain on someone else.
3) I'm going to be seeing someone on a regular basis. There's way to much inside me to just sit on it and dwell. I need to vent to someone regularly. I might be nuts, but I'm gonna do it. So whoever you are, get ready to be yelled at, cause it's gonna be fun.
I'm sure there are other things I could do/give up, but those are three big things I need to do.
This has been a pretty heavy entry, and my first one in a long time. Because I dont' like to burden anyone too much, please enjoy this picture of me in a disturbingly inebriated state with a friend making a funny face.
and with that, I depart thee verily. Wish me luck!
Beam me up, God.
I have no idea what I'm doing here. I've wasted five years, only to likely drop out without a degree. For some reason, I just can't make myself sit and work for more than a half hour at a time, if that much. It's really frustrating because I know I have to do the work, and I know my future is depending on how I do here, but I just can't do it. It's really weird. I want to do well. I want to make those I know proud to know me. I want to make my parents proud of me. I sit down, and bam. I'll stare at the wall instead of working (Yes, I know this is a diversion, but it's a somewhat productive one).
I've discovered that I need to get nearly 100% on my upcoming ecology final to get into honours next year. That's if I can convince my lab instructors to let me hand in my two late labs without penalty, and that's going to depend on whether or not someone at counselling services decides that I'm a nut or not. Here goes nothing.
On one hand, I don't want to be crazy. On the other hand, I want to pass these courses and get on with my life. because of that, I've decided to take the following actions.
1) I'm done with Queen's Bands. I hate myself for doing this, but there's no way I can do it again next year and not suffer. Plus, it's time to move aside and let someone else have their fun. I've been there long enough, and while I'll miss it like you wouldn't believe (and I hope it misses me), I think it's time.
2) I'm putting myself through from here on in. My parents have provided for me so far, and I'm making as much cash as I can this summer to pay my way from here on in. If this means taking a year off so I can make more money, so be it. I'm tired of being a drain on someone else.
3) I'm going to be seeing someone on a regular basis. There's way to much inside me to just sit on it and dwell. I need to vent to someone regularly. I might be nuts, but I'm gonna do it. So whoever you are, get ready to be yelled at, cause it's gonna be fun.
I'm sure there are other things I could do/give up, but those are three big things I need to do.
This has been a pretty heavy entry, and my first one in a long time. Because I dont' like to burden anyone too much, please enjoy this picture of me in a disturbingly inebriated state with a friend making a funny face.
and with that, I depart thee verily. Wish me luck!
Beam me up, God.
Comments:
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About the Bands: go out while you're a Legend. Don't be Kinniston or, to a lesser extent, Shockin' Rob.
About everything else: You know you can always vent to me. I'll reply in monosyllables as I tend to do and offer useless advice when it seems right.
I think you need a motivational speaker. Just make sure he doesn't live in a van down by the river, although that would be pretty funny.
Seriously though, you're in a transitional period. It sucks, and it will suck until it's finished with. All you can do is hang in there and keep treading water.
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About everything else: You know you can always vent to me. I'll reply in monosyllables as I tend to do and offer useless advice when it seems right.
I think you need a motivational speaker. Just make sure he doesn't live in a van down by the river, although that would be pretty funny.
Seriously though, you're in a transitional period. It sucks, and it will suck until it's finished with. All you can do is hang in there and keep treading water.
<< Home
